Back Again...

No posts in a while, but I'll try and post regularily from now on. Hopefully linking to this blog from Twitter will get me some more traffic :p. I'm hoping so, anyway. I have a few things I would like to touch on that certain sites won't allow me to talk about or would be out of place except the 'Everything Goes' thread on the forum.

Marc Maron

Image from 'The Gothamist'

This man is Marc Maron. Arguably one of the best comedians working today. He's been through some shit. 2 marriages, 2 divorces, numerous stints on tv, cross-country trip in the states for the 2008 election, along with a web show every weekday on Air America. I randomly picked up his CD's gloomy, awful day, and found it hard not to stop listening. I believe he's exactly the kind of person I'll be in 20-30 years. Narcissistic, neurotic, but somehow sure of himself enough to go out on stage at clubs or bars a few days out of the month and make people laugh. I've yet to be that outgoing, but 2 out of 3 ain't bad. Since Carlin and Hedberg died, I've felt a gap that I'm fairly sure a lot of people lack. Carlin was the first comedian whom's act I've seen entirely and the greatest comedian to ever live, in my opinion. He brought the cynical humor that would help me get on with my life, and not let bullshit bog me down. Now, the country's in the proverbial crapper, I'm in a state of debt that seems unfathomable for me to get out of, no job, medicine for a sickness I can barely afford, and my future looking increasingly dim. Who could I turn to to at least alleviate some of the stress and the feeling of helplessness that I deal with every day? Hardly see my friends, parents are a pain in the ass. I find Maron's show, and all of a sudden the load on my shoulders lifts a little, my heart isn't so sunk. I hope that one day I'll get to shake his hand and tell him just how great he is, even if I come off as some sort of creep. Anyways, mvslive.com people. I am urging you, emploring you to check it out.

How blogs start these days...

Pretty much. I got this off digg. Don't know who made it, but if they happen to show up here, let me know who to give credit to. i don't want to be a thieving prick.

bullshit

i'm not gonna write for a few days. basically, nobody's reading these other than people i force to read it and i don't want to put up the effort if nothing's getting viewed. I'll come back next friday with something for sure. i have a faux script in mind for a W. Bush sitcom. it's been done, but i wanted to try my hand since I don't normally commit to my ideas. see ya then, whoever you are.

wow

That terrorist organization from the 60's with William Ayers? Started by a republican.
http://www.newsweek.com/id/163396

The right has gone batshit crazy...news to nobody.

Bullshit about Obama being a terrorist. Bill Ayers did attack the pentagon...in 1969! Everybody was militant back then! Vietnam, Berkeley, Civil Rights movement...and nobody was hurt. The guy's a professor at illinois university in chicago. Obviously if he can get that kind of job he's gotta be pretty docile now, right? This bullshit has GOT to stop! The republicans believing this hokey propaganda, not to mention their hokey religion (The Force, no, I mean Christianity.) Never have i seen the right be so pathetic and hurtful and wrong. I'm no political activist. I don't like politics, but when i see shit get out of hand, i have to say something. The right needs to look in a mirror, cuz when they do they will see the selfish, greedy harbinger of death that they've become. i'm gonna have my rocky road snickers and vanilla coke now. later, kids.

Haven't been in the creative mood much lately. Heartbroken, alone, scared, angry...you tend to not want to do much of anything. Hardly believe i managed to get to work today. There's some things i forgot to say to someone that i might as well put up here, since I can't really talk to her anymore, mostly because i'm angry at her. i don't want to be, but after the past few months, holding everything in without actually being able to let out that frustration because she didn't want to hear it, i don't really care anymore. i'm hurting, i'm broken. i've given everything i have to her, my friends, my family, and myself. and i've come up short every fucking time. i just can't measure up to anything. what is it about me that gets me in these situations? everybody has those days, but do they fuck up as often as i seem to? for no apparent reason other than wrong place, wrong time, wrong feelings? i was her court jester, plain and simple. She denied it, but that was our invisible, unspoken contract. " Be funny, no questions asked. we'll talk about our respective days and so forth, but make with the funny after that. You step into serious discussion territory, I leave. Sign here." I tried really hard to understand her. Through that last few months of high school on up. Still trying. not like, i study it every night sorta thing, but if a memory comes up, i analyze it, see what i interpret from it. i have my theories, but it shouldn't really matter anymore. i most likely won't hear from her again. i want to sooo bad. i'm thinking it was a big mistake to say that i shouldn't speak or hear from/to her anymore, because i was becoming unstable. i didn't want to hurt her feelings anymore than i may have already did. Sometimes you love someone so much you gotta let them go. maybe this is what whoever said that first meant.

We never dated, we were just friends. i think i'm making this seem more dramatic than it was. It's just how i write. try to tone it down in your mind.

Basically i got those stupid feelings and shit went to hell. I'm not sure where to go from here, but all i know is that i gotta go it alone.