bullshit

i'm not gonna write for a few days. basically, nobody's reading these other than people i force to read it and i don't want to put up the effort if nothing's getting viewed. I'll come back next friday with something for sure. i have a faux script in mind for a W. Bush sitcom. it's been done, but i wanted to try my hand since I don't normally commit to my ideas. see ya then, whoever you are.

wow

That terrorist organization from the 60's with William Ayers? Started by a republican.
http://www.newsweek.com/id/163396

The right has gone batshit crazy...news to nobody.

Bullshit about Obama being a terrorist. Bill Ayers did attack the pentagon...in 1969! Everybody was militant back then! Vietnam, Berkeley, Civil Rights movement...and nobody was hurt. The guy's a professor at illinois university in chicago. Obviously if he can get that kind of job he's gotta be pretty docile now, right? This bullshit has GOT to stop! The republicans believing this hokey propaganda, not to mention their hokey religion (The Force, no, I mean Christianity.) Never have i seen the right be so pathetic and hurtful and wrong. I'm no political activist. I don't like politics, but when i see shit get out of hand, i have to say something. The right needs to look in a mirror, cuz when they do they will see the selfish, greedy harbinger of death that they've become. i'm gonna have my rocky road snickers and vanilla coke now. later, kids.

Haven't been in the creative mood much lately. Heartbroken, alone, scared, angry...you tend to not want to do much of anything. Hardly believe i managed to get to work today. There's some things i forgot to say to someone that i might as well put up here, since I can't really talk to her anymore, mostly because i'm angry at her. i don't want to be, but after the past few months, holding everything in without actually being able to let out that frustration because she didn't want to hear it, i don't really care anymore. i'm hurting, i'm broken. i've given everything i have to her, my friends, my family, and myself. and i've come up short every fucking time. i just can't measure up to anything. what is it about me that gets me in these situations? everybody has those days, but do they fuck up as often as i seem to? for no apparent reason other than wrong place, wrong time, wrong feelings? i was her court jester, plain and simple. She denied it, but that was our invisible, unspoken contract. " Be funny, no questions asked. we'll talk about our respective days and so forth, but make with the funny after that. You step into serious discussion territory, I leave. Sign here." I tried really hard to understand her. Through that last few months of high school on up. Still trying. not like, i study it every night sorta thing, but if a memory comes up, i analyze it, see what i interpret from it. i have my theories, but it shouldn't really matter anymore. i most likely won't hear from her again. i want to sooo bad. i'm thinking it was a big mistake to say that i shouldn't speak or hear from/to her anymore, because i was becoming unstable. i didn't want to hurt her feelings anymore than i may have already did. Sometimes you love someone so much you gotta let them go. maybe this is what whoever said that first meant.

We never dated, we were just friends. i think i'm making this seem more dramatic than it was. It's just how i write. try to tone it down in your mind.

Basically i got those stupid feelings and shit went to hell. I'm not sure where to go from here, but all i know is that i gotta go it alone.

sorry, folks

Yeah, I finally set a solid schedule for updates and i fuck up the first time. real, smooth, Eric. anywho, my shift and enter keys are fucked up on my keyboard so it's a real pain in the ass to type anything, so i'm gonna keep these short for a while till i get things back on track. As for updats, i finally snatched a job, so i won't be as panicky for a while, though if you get to know anything about me, you should know i'm a cynical son of a bitch, so something bad's gonna rear it's ugly face soon. I just know it. Best friend's been awfully friendly lately. You know, too friendly? Like, i've probably seen him more often the past week than the previous month combined. it's weird, is all. i'm probably giving the guy too much credit since he can hardly plan an evening with his friends let alone some dastardly scheme that will leave me reeling and wanting to seek revenge in 10 years time.

adittedly, i'm sure some of you are thinking," you're a real prick, eric, talking about your friend behind his back like that." i won't argue with you. it is underhanded and low and stupid. but it's just how my mind works and i need a medium in which to vent and i've done everything else, and this seems to work for me cuz someone might see it and tell me to fuck off or actually decide on some constructive criticism is in order. i just want feedback, cuz i've had a tough time for a while and i just want to write what i feel, have people see it, and be like, " This kid is on to something," or "i think i could offer my 2 cents. i don't mean to be a jerk, but i've almost died holding everything in and i've got nothing else to do but type on here. Everybody else i want to talk to thinks i'm nearly clinically insane, or at least getting there.

Longer than i wanted it to be. night, kids.